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Reducing Overwhelm - Business Funsize Live

Jul 23, 2021

If you Google the word overwhelm, you will get more than 269,000,000 search results, it's the feeling of drowning beneath a huge mass of something - but I don't need to tell you that, you're an entrepreneur!

Come and join Debbie and me as we share our top tips for reducing overwhelm and bringing a bit more calm and pause into your day today.


Transcript

Bertie: Hey, probably because we live where he runs about, Hey,

Debbie: Hey, hi.

Bertie: Hello, everybody watching and listing there because the fun-size live is officially a podcast.

Old ones that have been uploaded as we speak.

Debbie: Yeah. So you can go running with us in your ears and all sorts of exciting

Bertie: things. That's right. The possibilities are endless. You can have it everywhere. Now you come, what is listened to us? Maybe? Well, could use a range of Merck soon who knows from us. Fun size company, Facebook, cat.

Debbie: I would like a baseball cap. But apart from baseball caps and merchandise, what are we talking about this morning? Birthday?

Bertie: Well, today, Debbie, we're talking about drum roll,

Debbie: reducing overwhelm

Bertie: thing. Right? Everyone everyone's overwhelmed. Everyone's stressed. Don't know what to do. So we now have 10 minute brief chat today. We're going to help people. We're going to save lives this morning. Debbie. That's what we're going to do.

Debbie: I think we need to, cause I think like overwhelm is a rife.

I think burnout has been recognized by the world health organization as a like medical thing. Like it's, it's officially officially recognized. So that kind of burnout and overwhelm is massive. And I think also if you run a business. That, that can be super hard. Can't it? To kind of manage that overwhelm that burnout and not get to that state where you just unable to do anything.

And that's kind of the final story, isn't it? I have got no more capacity to do stuff. And so we're going to share some of our tips of how we stop getting to that end point where you're like, ah, I can just lie in a dark room crying. Yes,

Bertie: yes, yes, yes we are. So what do you, do you have a tip you want to lead with this morning?

Duda?

Debbie: Well, I think we talk about it a lot, but for me, one of the things for reducing overwhelm is knowing where you're going. Yeah. 'cause one of the main things is, is that you can end up saying yes to lots of things that maybe aren't getting you where you're going, because you don't want to let go of opportunities when they arise.

But if you've got a really clear focus on when you want to take your business, then you've got a really good barometer to say, Not now, that's not going to get me where I want to go. And so I think that's the main thing is having that focus because I've always known now I've done it. You're like, oh, but this is an opportunity.

And what if I say now, and I let go of it and you can end up just piling more things on your plate. And then you're like doing need to be doing this. So I think having that focus is a key thing.

Bertie: Yeah, absolutely. I think once you've got that phone, I mean, it's, it's easy sometimes to have that focus and then yeah, you can still be piling lots of things on, onto that plate.

And I think a lot of the time we set expectations that are too high, especially in short periods of time. Yeah. Well, when I speak to people and you look at the amount of stuff that they expect to get achieved in a single day, it's never going to get done. So already the expectation is too high and you've set you've, you've got too many things on your list.

You're never going to tick those off. So I think a lot of the time it's, it's a combination of expectations and planning or lack of planning and not planning effectively. When you look at those things that you're trying to do in a, in a single day, for example, if you were to actually take some time and plan those over the course of a week, it's much more achievable.

And like w when I speak to people that are overwhelmed, it's all, but it's, it's the same. Have you ever booked a holiday? And you're like, shit, I need to lose a stone by the weekend. Have you ever had that experience? Well, this is about,

Debbie: I'm sorry. I'm just naturally.

Bertie: Naturally it stick thing all year round runs because there's a lot of people like me that have this like, shit I need to, I need to lose this weight quickly.

And you know, you can do the crash dieting thing, but it doesn't work. It doesn't work in the longterm and you never actually get there. So. When you talk about like routine and process, like a calorie deficit and regular exercise is a much better way of keeping in shape over time, rather than not doing those things.

And it's the same for business. If you're putting the right processes in and actually managing and planning effectively, then the overwhelm will reduce because your expectations are lower. And actually it's high expectations that generally lead to disappointment. So there is no quick fix, unfortunately, apart from just telling yourself, do you know what fuck you.

I'm not going to get this done in a day. Why am I worried about it? Why am I worried about it? Like it's unachievable. So don't stress out about things that aren't going to be on. There are actually on achievable because what's the point. Yeah.

Debbie: Yeah. And I think like, like you've kind of alluded to that. If you've put too many things on your to-do list, you can end up berating yourself at the end of the day for not doing them.

Instead of looking at all the things you have achieved, you're just focusing on the things you haven't achieved. So I, I like like a today list, like things I've done, like to that I've done all these things rather than the list of all the things you haven't done and actually reframing your focus. The things that you have achieved, the movement you've made, the difference that you've made in your business or the transformation or whatever that looks like.

Because I think our natural response is to focus on the negative. I'm going to go live and I've done this wife and I've done that. And I think if you spend a bit of time, maybe at the end of the day or the week writing down, what have I done? What have I achieved that kind of takes the overwhelm out because it feels that you're making progress.

And if there's sometimes when we've got overwhelmed is because we don't feel that we're making any progress. So that helps as well. I think that's it. That's another tip, but also there's. It's okay to say no, if you've committed to something and you've over committed, which happens a lot to just go, actually, I'm not going to get this done by that timeframe.

Is it all right if it's there next week and January people are like, yeah, sure. And I think we think that everybody's like biting at the bit to get the thing done that we said that we're going to do. And everybody's like, no, you're human. That's fine. Thank you for letting me know. I think as long as you keep that communication channel open, That's great.

It's when you don't do something, you don't let somebody know that you're not going to do it, that they get paid off. Just saying I've got too much on this week. I'm moving it to next week. Is that okay? That that's really good. And it it's okay to say no or not now or later, or I'm going to put that back.

And I think back to that thing of focus. That enables you to go, well, this is a, maybe like if I've got extra time to do this, it's a maybe, and I'm going to fit it in. I've got this, I've got this book. This book has to communicate effectively with anyone anywhere that was sent to me lovingly by this guy in New York, who was like, please write a review for my book.

Months ago. And every, so often he writes in this really lovely email for the book that I sent you, the friend I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just not my priority. It's not going to make my business grow. It's a nice thing. The book's great. I did enjoy it. It helped me do a piece of work. Actually. It was kind of turned up at just the right time, but I just keep putting.

'cause that's okay. Cause it's not the thing. That's going to get my business where I want to go. And so I'm just looking for gap when I'm like, oh, I've got a bit of an empty afternoon. I'm going to write that review and that's okay. We all need to manage our own time and work out. What are the, what are the, it has to be.

Voice the ship is going to sink stuff. The rest of it can wait. It's really okay.

Bertie: Yeah, exactly. And you don't have to be, you know, the busiest person, you don't have to wear this busy-ness badge of honor, you know, like that's being busy doesn't necessarily. Being successful and productive. Exactly. And prioritizing your own work, you know, really questioning yourself like, does it make the boat go faster, which we spoke about in previous fund size, which you can catch up on the podcast somewhere, somewhere.

I remember it used to remember a guy lovely, lovely guy that used to work with and. Like he was great because whenever I needed something doing, he would drop instantly what he needed doing and helped me. But then I noticed that he was the person that was in the office, the latest all the time. And he was coming in the earliest and he was the one that was always busy.

He never complained about it, but he was prioritizing other people's work over his own. So when you actually delve into that, and then you speak to him, it's like, it wasn't just me. That was doing that. That's just how it is. With everybody. So it's, if you feel that you're doing that and you feel that that's not you know, that's not working for you, then you need, you need to change.

Something has to change. I think there's a combination of mindset as well. You really have to have the mindset of. It's not you know, the world isn't going to collapse. If I don't respond to this email or write this review for ref, for somebody Steve whistles coming to him, let's put this on because you're going to have to read that word.

Cause I can't read it.

Debbie: Presenteeism is not necessarily productivity. So that's being there sitting. You know, being present doesn't necessarily mean you're productive. And I think I've mentioned this a few times, like in the UK, we worked some of the longest hours and we have some of the lowest productivity rates.

So a hundred percent Steve whistle, I find that actually, if I shorten my day, And I plan in a swim or something I've aside, I get as much done in that short amount of time. And then I've got some time for exercising or relaxing or all of that stuff. The steeds also said, I agree. I say no a lot. And I think people struggle to say no.

And maybe that guy in the office. He may be as linking saying yes to his likeability. Yeah. No. And we do want to be liked and we do want to be part of the community and we do want people to accept us, but that can sometimes go against us if we keep saying yes and we're not prioritizing our own stuff. So I think if you're listening and you're one of those people that says yes to everything and drops everything that you're doing to, to service somebody else, just ask yourself if I said, oh, well, I can help you, but that will be tomorrow or next week.

That's not going to make somebody dislike you in the grand scheme of things. It just isn't is it? And I think I worked with a client the other day and she said people would turn up at her door and just drop. She, she does sewing. She said people would just turn up my door and go, can you just fix this top or make these curtains?

And she just says yes, every time, no matter how much workload she's got. And she also says, I'll have it done for you. Where there's no need for her to do that. And so just building in a little bit of actually let me just look at my diary and see when I could fit that in or not now, but next week, or just giving yourself a moment to pause, if yes is the first thing that comes out of your mouth, just practice, pausing and engaging.

Is it okay? Do I have the time. And then just playing maybe next week or it's not the right time for me, or I'd love to do that, but not now. They're still not, it's not necessarily, no, it's still keeping that communication open. I think it's really dangerous if you just say yes to everything. Definitely been that person, you know, for sure.

Bertie: Yes. Yeah. I think we all have very important too, to recognize that, because once you start wrecking, recognizing the problem, it doesn't instantly solve it, but it does then mean that you can start to work on it. And I think you've raised a really good point as well. When you were saying about people generally will like if you say no to someone they're not, not going to stop liking you over that.

But if they do, if they, but if they do then they are definitely the wrong people to be in your anyway. You know, they are not the types of people. So, you know, saying no to somebody and actually setting, you know respecting your own boundaries. If someone disrespects you over that, then that's an entirely different story.

And that's something to question that doesn't mean that. Personally, I've done something wrong, then there's something wrong in general with that relationship, you know, which is an entirely different kettle of fish. Yeah. Yeah.

Debbie: And this, this thing about saying no, or not now in reducing overwhelm, you could, you could bring that into your emails.

Like I knew people that will reply as soon as an email arrives, so literally there'll be on the team. Like heads down and getting into the task in the flow, an email pops up, they pull themselves out of that task and go out. They have to respondents than they. Then they go back to that task and it takes a while.

Doesn't it to get back into the thing. And then that's meaning that your day is getting seven forever. You don't have to reply to email straight away. You don't have to answer the phone call. You don't have to come up with a response straight away. You know, you could say my email time is four to five.

Yeah, and I answer all my emails and that time and the rest of the time it's off. And I'm focusing on.

Bertie: Yeah, I check the emails morning and night and throughout the day that's the email box is closed. Like it is. If someone's emailing me, it's not urgent and they have to disrupt the other things. Steve's raises a good point here.

Thanks for coming to the Steve. So yeah, the, the tasks often. The, as long as the time you assign them, Parkinson's law. I believe that's known as this. If I say like a weekend, I'm just going to work for an hour. The amount of stuff that I will get done in the area sometimes it's, Hey, now we're doing an entire day.

So now I've got an hour. I know that it's 10 o'clock I'm leaving. You just blast through him stuff. So that setting. You tell yourself, it's going to take you two years to write a book. It will take you two years. If you give yourself a week, you will get it done in a week that, you know, if your publisher is waiting for you or whatever the the scenario is, you can do it.

So yeah, this, this is Parkinson's though. It's a really interesting fats and I've found that since doing my daily emails, I used to be at sit down in the morning, like what I'm going to write about, and it could take me all day sometimes. Whereas last night it was trade seven, had a networking meeting at seven.

It was like, shit. And he'd send something, blah, blah, blah, blah done. So there is a, yeah, there's a lot to be said around this as well, but we have one more comment. Let's throw this up on the screen. I haven't read it yet. Hopefully it's.

Debbie: So Catherine says, I read somewhere that when you allow yourself to be interrupted on a task, it takes an average 25 minutes to get back to what you were doing.

That only needs to happen three to four times a day. And we run the risk of not finishing anything. Yeah, exactly. This goes back to like multitasking. There's no such thing as multitasking, stay in that zone, get that task done. And. Don't be pulled to doing other things because you're right. Every time you go back to it, it takes you 25 minutes to get back into it.

Like there's no such thing as multitasking. You can't spin mop. You can't really spend multiple plates, just do one plate at a time and be the great look how good I am at spending this one play. So yeah, that's, that's, that's true, Kevin and is so much research on multitasking and all of that stuff.

Like.

Bertie: Yeah. And this is actually that this concept is especially true with that. People who code and things like that. Like I remember working with developers and the roll air and their headphones on, and it's like, don't even say hello. It's like, if they stop their flow, that's it because they've got so not multitasking as such, but there's so many things that they're trying to think about.

You, you stopped. And that's it. You're fucked. So, yeah. Massive. Yeah. Yeah, massive problem. If you do get interrupted and, and it was under his networking meeting and I was still late. Completely true. Yeah, you have to also account for my tardiness, but the email did go out and I still made the network for meeting.

So there we

Debbie: go. There you go. And maybe it's okay to be five minutes late as well. And it's like, it's okay. To be five minutes late. It's going to be, it's going to be right. 26

Bertie: minutes.

Debbie: I think the other thing I just wanted to touch on, so, oh, and Catherine Catherine's just said multitasking is for machines.

Not people. Exactly. We're not, we're not machines. Are we, we, we are people and it takes us a while to get into staff. And the other thing that I wanted to say is if you really are getting towards that burnout point, I would really take some time to pull back and go, what is absolutely necessary because proper ban out proper getting poorly means that you'll be able to do nothing.

Like you're completely just you'll get a cold, you'll get the flu, like something will come and floor you, and then you're not going to be able to do anything. So if you're creeping towards that point, make sure that you're sleeping well, make sure that you're eating well. Like get rid of some stuff, like just start saying no, and just focus on those core things, because we're not machines as well.

Like Katherine said, like we're not machines. We need to give ourselves time and space to be able to do the task at hand and getting to that point where you just can't do anything. Cause we're really dangerous because then you're not.

Bertie: Exactly. So, so hopefully this has helped have you, if you woke up today thinking I'm feeling overwhelmed, don't know where to start.

I think the first thing, take a breath and then just look at the things that you've, you're, you're saying you're going to do today. And the chances are, there's probably too many things. So take some those things. What is, what's the most important thing? What is actually going to make the boat go faster today?

Concentrate on those, eat the frog. So they say, you know, do the most important things first and then take those other. And spread them over the week and the things that really don't matter, you know, there's a few emails in your inbox and it's just like, oh, maybe I should respond to that person because it's like, oh fuck it.

Just hit delete. There you go. And you'll sleep a lot better tonight. Just get into that habit. You don't need to respond to everything. We'll make you a Dick by not responding to every single female. And if the stirrup in that, let's say for two weeks, Then they can just be all archived as well. You don't need to worry about those.

I do a course on getting to inbox zero, which covers all these things. So I'll put the link in somewhere something, and you can have a look at that as well. Yeah.

Debbie: I've heard good things about your course and I'm always, I'm always in order of your inbox zero. So if we can, like, just looking at your inbox overflowing, we'll give you overwhelm and sense of heartburn anyway.

So go and check out Bertie's course. Cause it's funny. We will be back next week.

Bertie: We will be back. We will be her back. We will be her back. We hope you have back. We hope we are back next Friday. 10 o'clock. Thank you very much, everybody for joining us live, you can catch up on LinkedIn, YouTube and on Debbie's Facebook and also on what's.

The other thing we do, the podcast is a podcast now. The podcast goes live at one o'clock today. So we will see you all next week. Have a fantastic week.

Debbie: Thanks,

Bertie: bye.

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