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Getting Comfortable with Fucking Up

Jun 25, 2021

A lot of our clients hold themselves back because of fear of failure, so we're going to use these 10 minutes to really dig into what failure means and share our own personal failures. And ask what is failure anyway?

 

Transcript

 

Bertie: Press, which means we are now live good morning, Debbie doodle. Good morning listeners. How you doing?

I'm very well. Debbie. I'm, just drinking coffee and I'm not hung over at all. What about you?

Debbie: I am a little bit. A little bit. Yeah, it's Friday. And then I went out last night and woke up in my dress. So that's

an indication.

That's well, that's good. I think that's always a good sign of a good night out when you sleep in your clothes.

Alicia's laps. So that's, that's, that's that? That's a good sign. So this is your second life today. So how has that first life.

I mean, I think it went well. I'm hoping it did. I don't know. I said things and that's the main thing, isn't it? I

Bertie: contributed exactly. So Debbie, on that subject then, so hung over, turning off for two lives.

And what are we going to talk about today? Yes. David talked about getting comfortable with fucking up.

Debbie: Exactly. So I'm literally doing it now. I'm practicing what that, what that looks like?

Bertie: Yeah, it was almost like he was deliberate. It wasn't it. That was it. It's like, oh, we just talked about fucking up tomorrow.

It doesn't matter. Let's just get drunk.

Debbie: Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. I think there's got things. Isn't it? Where you're like, oh my God, we've got these lockdowns. And then you go out and you kind of. I dunno, grab it all and get really excited, you know? And that's, that's what I

Bertie: was doing. Oh, nobody died every everyone's up here.

We're all. Okay. So that's

Debbie: yeah, exactly. Let's not really get fucking up. It's okay. I I'm holding it together, you know, w we're doing a

Bertie: wine. Everything's going to be okay. All fine. So fucking so fucking up there. So why, why is getting comfortable with fucking up importance? Why, why should I be asking? Yeah.

Debbie: If you're not, if you're not making mistakes, if you're not trying things and failing, then you're not really doing anything. Oh, you like, you don't want to lie in your desperate and go. I never took any risks. But life was okay. And I think there's a lot of fear around things not working or people seeing hasn't worked or, or what that looks like.

But actually most businesses just trying things out, trying out new products, trying out new ways of working, trying out new messages. And if you're so scared of it not working, you won't do anything. And then how can you grow? Like how can your business grow? So I think you've got to get really comfortable with this.

Not being great at everything and not everything going the way you wanted

Bertie: to go. That's right. Yeah. Making mistakes is absolutely crucial in, in business. And I think it's two fold. I think it's, I think it's one admitting that we all make mistakes and like we're all not perfect. And you know, we hide sometimes behind this veil on social media and we, you know, we're driving project, this perfect image with our perfect ratings and everything.

And I think it's it doesn't really project. The human behind it, you know, like, you know, we're all human beings and I know you share a lot more than probably most people. So you're a living breathing example of you know, of how to do this properly. But I think just, you know, and I'm not saying you have to go in there and share every single failure go down day that you're having.

But I think just saying when you've made mistakes is, is really, really crucial. Important, you don't have to do it publicly, but at least admit it to yourself because there are plenty of people out there that go through life with the belief that will never make a mistake. Like it's always someone else's fault, it's their fault.

And, you know, you have to you know, a take ownership of those problems to be able to deal with them. But be just saying that out loud, just saying that you actually do make mistakes, allows you that freedom to be able to test and learn and fail because it's only really a mistake. You've only really fucked up.

Learn from it. So it's, it's an opportunity to learn and growth in business comes from. Essentially.

Debbie: Yeah, I love what you just said there, it's only really a failure if you're not learning from it. And so everything that you do, like, well, if that didn't work, why didn't it work? What could I do better next time?

What did I bring into it? Is it, I don't know that it could be a whole heap of stuff and it's kind of examining that th this is, this will fail and that's okay. Like, ideas will fail products that you've put out that will fail, but by constantly. Testing and trying things you're almost going to get to that magic sauce.

The thing that works like the way of working that works or the product that works, or the clients that you work with that will work and you kind of almost have to go through quite a few iterations and quite a few versions of things to get to that, like, yes, it's worth. Seamless, you know, I'm working smarter, not harder and all of those, all of those wonderful things.

And you've got to keep, you've got to keep pushing, I think, and being okay with that. Obviously we've spoken about this before. Fear, like it's a big thing, isn't it like fear of success or fear of failure, but there is, you've just got to do it. Like, there is a just put your big girl pants on or your big boy pants on or whatever, and just be like, I'm going to do it and I'm going to try and I'm going to give it my best shot and if it doesn't work, that's okay.

I can go off and do something. I was like the first two businesses I helped set up both don't exist anymore. They just don't exist because the business model didn't work. You know, they were kind of like, I dunno, these, these dream social enterprises and, you know, Camden council and nothing and canceled for that, that would be that golden ticket.

Services in their cities and neither of those exist anymore, but that's okay. Cause we learned so much trying to make them work. So I then bought into my businesses now that learning and going through that process, trying to make products at work, trying to make stuff that sounds. So it gets

Bertie: experienced, isn't it?

It is. It is. I think you have to, you have, sometimes you just have to physically experience those things. You have to be uncomfortable and experience that pain of failure yourself. Sometimes you just cough,

Debbie: but not work hag. I'm like, that's a terrible thing. Isn't it? You're like, oh my God, you pulled your knife.

And Sonia. So

Bertie: roughly when you look back, it's probably the best thing to have happened because, you know, if that failure didn't happen, you wouldn't be in this position now, you know, with loads and loads of happy clients and, you know, successful businesses that, and everybody loves you. So that's the

what, but that's what's happened. And those things, those, those big failure blocks of stepping stones, it's like, how has. But I, again, I go to the gym now with my son and like, I'm always telling him, like, when you put in the weights on the bar, like make sure you load them evenly because that bar is going to tip and everyone in the gym has always done that at least one.

So there's most fine when it happens. And I've still got a hole in the floor, in the other room from where it happened there and the way it's just it's up. But like, it still carries on doing it the same way. And I just thought, I'm not gonna say anything to you. He's got to see that for himself. He's got to see that panic of the bar falling off and wakes fine F and everyone's staring at you in the gym.

Sometimes you have to just experience those things for yourself failure. And you know, you can always try and learn as much as you can for the people. Well, that doesn't mean that you don't have to make those mistakes yourself like it's and getting comfortable with that and actually saying, do you know what that.

But I've learned from, and it's gonna be okay sometimes at the time, it's the worst thing in the world of business failure, a relationship breakup, all of those things, you know, like when they happened in your past, like there were heartbreaking at the time, but looking back, it's like, yeah, What I have changed any of those things there, because I wouldn't be here right.

In this moment. And I think that's what you've got to. Sometimes it's, it's a retrospective analysis really, that needs to be done on these things to really put it into context.

Debbie: Yeah. And I love that bit. Like he can't kind of remain any elements of your life cause you wouldn't be where you are. So it's not really like fucking up even though.

You know, I had cancer for years ago. It's like, I wouldn't remove that because that opens so many doors and gave me a different perspective and stuff. And it was shit at the time, but that's made me who I am and, and taken me to this point and the thing. Take risks in life. Like try things out, like taking risks is super important.

So if you're in your business and you're like, it's going, okay, it's it's, it's it's going along. It's all right. That's kind of not that fun. Is it like, actually, when you're trying things out, that's where the fun is. That's where you're going to learn stuff. So, you know, if you're listening to this, I'd be, I would be looking right.

Well, what am I doing? What's the bare bones. Where could I take your risk? Where could I try something out? Because you might find something that works and makes you whole change your whole business or your whole perception of life or whatever that looks like. But being a risk taker, you don't need to throw everything up in the air, but it's like trying things is important.

Risk-taking I love first taking, you know, and I think most people who start businesses have already taken the big and re biggest. Starting a business in the first place.

Bertie: It's a massive risk is

Debbie: the first step. Like keep going, keep pushing, keep trying things out.

Bertie: Yeah. And, and it's, you don't have to, you know, like when we talk about risk oh morning.

And if I'm, by the way that I could see you, it has been a very long time. You don't have to like really take these massive, big risks. You can just break things down, you know? So if you've got like a new idea or maybe something you want to launch from the business, maybe you've got a cost, for example, that you want to launch, you don't have to go and write this huge course and then try and sell it.

You just actually ask yourself. Would you buy this course and you know, and start that way. And then if people like it, great, then you can go and build it. So there's lots and lots of different ways. So if you, if you've got something that's a big risk, just taking it and planning out, you can break it down, always every single time into much, much smaller steps, then those risks are mitigated and yeah, that, you know, it might mean you're putting something out on your social media and say, what about this course?

You really excited. And you just get tumbleweeds, but you wouldn't have known that. And that's, and, and then, you know, you can ask a feedback and then refine that and do something a little bit different. You have to be, you have to be testing stuff. You have to be tries to fight. You have to be comfortable with failure.

And as a general rule of thumb, 80% of the stuff should really not be working. That 20% of you are in that that 20% will be absolute, fucking magic. Like that will be the stuff. And over the course of weeks and months and years, those things will start to get. And then the growth in your business will really start to accelerate because all of these things that you've tried and failed will start to get traction.

So that says, that's why we want to get comfortable with fucking up.

Debbie: So about the grades getting comfortable, fucking up and growing.

Bertie: And growing and growing up, there we go. So yeah. So that's it. Unless you've got anything else you want to Chuck in do before you go and have a cheeky nap.

Debbie: Yeah. Coffee. You told me to drink coffee. Didn't you

Bertie: Anthony Bass and greasy food that is what's required.

Debbie: The day will be over soon. I'll get back in bed.

Bertie: Okay. Well, thank you very much for watching everybody listening and we will see you again next Friday with a ferry and hungover Debbiedoodah over the next week. And we'll see you. Yeah, we'll see you next Friday at 10 o'clock for 10 minutes of the business, Q and a laters by.

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